stepped out of her way as she waddled over to the hamper. She
almost tripped at the last second, but then he grabbed her and set her upright.
“Thank you,” she said softly. He started to leave. “Daddy?” He turned around.
“Did you take me to the bathroom last night?”
He crouched down then, and she saw his face: all pink and
newly-shaven. He smiled with large thin lips and kissed her on the cheek. “No,
sure didn’t, Angel. You must have dreamed it.”
She watched his face go away as he stood up. She nodded and he
smiled again.
She got in trouble that day at school for staring out the window
too much and not doing her work. She couldn’t help it. Everything looked so
blurry outside, like the sun had come down and made all the plants, cars, and
buildings glow with a funny light. Or like she was seeing everything outside
through water, but it wasn’t raining. It was funny.
Later she looked into her lunch box and brought her marbles out.
They were red, blue, green, lots of different colors. Some you could even see
through. A bunch of them had belonged to her first daddy, her real daddy, her
mommy had told her. She liked looking at those the best. They looked so old.
And they made her feel better. She brought them to school every day but she
didn’t play with them. She just liked to look. Somebody might steal them if she
played.
Before dinner her daddy came home and stepped on her foot. Twice.
He pretended he didn’t notice and she pretended it didn’t happen, even though
it hurt a lot. But she pulled her feet up into the chair and sat on them, just
to make sure he didn’t do it again.
After dinner he passed by her in the upstairs hallway and nudged
her into the wall. She hit her cheek and it cut a little.
A few minutes later he came out of his bedroom. She was sitting in
the middle of the hall crying and holding her cheek. The blood felt hot and
sticky on her fingers.
“Why, Cheryl! What happened?” he said and crouched down next to
her, his wide face filling her vision.
“You… you pushed me!” she cried, sobbing, and for a moment was
very afraid, afraid of what he would do to her now that she had said that. She
shouldn’t have said it, but she’d been hurt, and it made her forget.
“Why… how can you say that!” he said, looking really puzzled.
Cheryl knew he was play-acting; his eyes were too wide and his mouth so large
and open he looked like the giant chicken she liked so much on the cartoons.
But she didn’t like her daddy like this. She didn’t like him at all.
“I’m… I’m sorry. I guess I fell.” She looked down.
Then he was holding her, speaking softly to her, telling her that
everything was going to be okay, and that he loved her very much. He talked to
her just like she was his own real daughter. She hugged him back real hard,
hoping maybe it was all true, though she really didn’t think it was. Her old
daddy had died so long ago she couldn’t remember him, and when this new one
came along last year and married her mother she used to dream sometimes that he
was actually her real daddy come back to her, and that her mommy just didn’t
recognize him.
But that couldn’t be true. Her real daddy wasn’t like this one at
all.
That night in bed she was thinking about her real daddy when the
tall man with the dark face came in. She knew he was really her new daddy but
now she was trying to think of him as a stranger, a bad dark stranger who
pretended to help her by taking her to the bathroom so she wouldn’t wet the bed
but who was really an evil, bad man out to get her. It made her feel better
that way. It made her feel safer when she had to be with her new daddy during
the daytime.
The man with the dark face, the man with no face it was so dark,
reached down and lifted her up out of the bed. “Time to use the bathroom,” he
said softly.
He took her down the hall into the bathroom and tried to crash her
head against the doorframe. But she was too smart for him this
almost tripped at the last second, but then he grabbed her and set her upright.
“Thank you,” she said softly. He started to leave. “Daddy?” He turned around.
“Did you take me to the bathroom last night?”
He crouched down then, and she saw his face: all pink and
newly-shaven. He smiled with large thin lips and kissed her on the cheek. “No,
sure didn’t, Angel. You must have dreamed it.”
She watched his face go away as he stood up. She nodded and he
smiled again.
She got in trouble that day at school for staring out the window
too much and not doing her work. She couldn’t help it. Everything looked so
blurry outside, like the sun had come down and made all the plants, cars, and
buildings glow with a funny light. Or like she was seeing everything outside
through water, but it wasn’t raining. It was funny.
Later she looked into her lunch box and brought her marbles out.
They were red, blue, green, lots of different colors. Some you could even see
through. A bunch of them had belonged to her first daddy, her real daddy, her
mommy had told her. She liked looking at those the best. They looked so old.
And they made her feel better. She brought them to school every day but she
didn’t play with them. She just liked to look. Somebody might steal them if she
played.
Before dinner her daddy came home and stepped on her foot. Twice.
He pretended he didn’t notice and she pretended it didn’t happen, even though
it hurt a lot. But she pulled her feet up into the chair and sat on them, just
to make sure he didn’t do it again.
After dinner he passed by her in the upstairs hallway and nudged
her into the wall. She hit her cheek and it cut a little.
A few minutes later he came out of his bedroom. She was sitting in
the middle of the hall crying and holding her cheek. The blood felt hot and
sticky on her fingers.
“Why, Cheryl! What happened?” he said and crouched down next to
her, his wide face filling her vision.
“You… you pushed me!” she cried, sobbing, and for a moment was
very afraid, afraid of what he would do to her now that she had said that. She
shouldn’t have said it, but she’d been hurt, and it made her forget.
“Why… how can you say that!” he said, looking really puzzled.
Cheryl knew he was play-acting; his eyes were too wide and his mouth so large
and open he looked like the giant chicken she liked so much on the cartoons.
But she didn’t like her daddy like this. She didn’t like him at all.
“I’m… I’m sorry. I guess I fell.” She looked down.
Then he was holding her, speaking softly to her, telling her that
everything was going to be okay, and that he loved her very much. He talked to
her just like she was his own real daughter. She hugged him back real hard,
hoping maybe it was all true, though she really didn’t think it was. Her old
daddy had died so long ago she couldn’t remember him, and when this new one
came along last year and married her mother she used to dream sometimes that he
was actually her real daddy come back to her, and that her mommy just didn’t
recognize him.
But that couldn’t be true. Her real daddy wasn’t like this one at
all.
That night in bed she was thinking about her real daddy when the
tall man with the dark face came in. She knew he was really her new daddy but
now she was trying to think of him as a stranger, a bad dark stranger who
pretended to help her by taking her to the bathroom so she wouldn’t wet the bed
but who was really an evil, bad man out to get her. It made her feel better
that way. It made her feel safer when she had to be with her new daddy during
the daytime.
The man with the dark face, the man with no face it was so dark,
reached down and lifted her up out of the bed. “Time to use the bathroom,” he
said softly.
He took her down the hall into the bathroom and tried to crash her
head against the doorframe. But she was too smart for him this
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