person whose lyrics they sang. Watching him perform I was more determined than ever to make that happen.
Everyone was in a good mood once the show was over so of course we went out to celebrate. Bottles were everywhere and the drinks were flowing, everyone was just having a good time and living it up. When we got back to our room Raul pushed me against the wall and started kissing me aggressively. He put his hands between my legs and started playing with me and I was a little nervous at first because I had never been with anyone besides Trent.
My body was tingling with every touch and when he entered me I wrapped my legs around him but I remember him not allowing me to move from the wall. Whether I was standing up, or he was behind me or whatever the position was, we didn’t move from that one spot. He kept telling me that I wasn’t going anywhere over and over again and looking back on it, ironically, he was right.
*****
It may sound funny but I had to teach Raul the basics of affection like holding hands in public while walking on the beach or giving me kisses here and there. I could tell that Joe didn’t like what was happening to his friend, for so long Raul had been his right hand man, his muscle, and now the gunman of the crew was softening up for a girl. That didn’t sit too well with him.
After a while Raul and I fell for each other and although I was never sexually attracted to him, I was drawn to his naiveté and the way that he was willing to be so open with me. I was very appreciative of the life that he was trying to create for me and the things that he was showing me. I think having me around gave him a sense of normalcy. I learned from pillow talk that he had a bad relationship with his mom and a rough upbringing so I think in me; he was able to find that unconditional love that she didn’t provide for him.
In a way I believe he knew that I wasn’t sexually attracted to him but he knew that I liked him as a person and that was enough for him. Some people tend to think that if you give them one thing then eventually the rest will follow and perhaps this was his mentality. I enjoyed playing the position of his girl and being responsible for taking this really hard man and turning him into a teddy bear. We were inseparable in the beginning. Being with Raul was like being on a permanent vacation. We always ate at the best of restaurants, drank the best champagne, life was good...but then again it’s always like that in the early stages before the curtain comes up and they show you who they really are.
Slowly but surely I began to lose control over certain things in my life. Things that I would naturally do as chores from cooking to cleaning became mandatory and now they were things that had to be done. I had to make sure I was home and that these things were taken care of before he got there or else he would get upset.
Like I said before, Joe wasn’t really feeling our relationship and I think a big part of that was jealousy from when I kind of curved him on the phone. He started to overlook Raul in ways that he hadn’t before and it began to mess with his finances. He wasn’t getting work the way he used to before he started dating me and although I was still working we were barely getting by. Joe gave him an ultimatum; either the crew or me and when Raul chose me his money began to fade and our relationship got shaky.
We began to argue over petty things. The arguments would sometimes turn physical and he would run up behind me and tightly squeeze the back of my neck or pull my hair. It would scare the shit out of me because I never knew when it was going to happen or what I did to trigger it. I didn’t know that letting him get away with things like that would start my World War
Everyone was in a good mood once the show was over so of course we went out to celebrate. Bottles were everywhere and the drinks were flowing, everyone was just having a good time and living it up. When we got back to our room Raul pushed me against the wall and started kissing me aggressively. He put his hands between my legs and started playing with me and I was a little nervous at first because I had never been with anyone besides Trent.
My body was tingling with every touch and when he entered me I wrapped my legs around him but I remember him not allowing me to move from the wall. Whether I was standing up, or he was behind me or whatever the position was, we didn’t move from that one spot. He kept telling me that I wasn’t going anywhere over and over again and looking back on it, ironically, he was right.
*****
It may sound funny but I had to teach Raul the basics of affection like holding hands in public while walking on the beach or giving me kisses here and there. I could tell that Joe didn’t like what was happening to his friend, for so long Raul had been his right hand man, his muscle, and now the gunman of the crew was softening up for a girl. That didn’t sit too well with him.
After a while Raul and I fell for each other and although I was never sexually attracted to him, I was drawn to his naiveté and the way that he was willing to be so open with me. I was very appreciative of the life that he was trying to create for me and the things that he was showing me. I think having me around gave him a sense of normalcy. I learned from pillow talk that he had a bad relationship with his mom and a rough upbringing so I think in me; he was able to find that unconditional love that she didn’t provide for him.
In a way I believe he knew that I wasn’t sexually attracted to him but he knew that I liked him as a person and that was enough for him. Some people tend to think that if you give them one thing then eventually the rest will follow and perhaps this was his mentality. I enjoyed playing the position of his girl and being responsible for taking this really hard man and turning him into a teddy bear. We were inseparable in the beginning. Being with Raul was like being on a permanent vacation. We always ate at the best of restaurants, drank the best champagne, life was good...but then again it’s always like that in the early stages before the curtain comes up and they show you who they really are.
Slowly but surely I began to lose control over certain things in my life. Things that I would naturally do as chores from cooking to cleaning became mandatory and now they were things that had to be done. I had to make sure I was home and that these things were taken care of before he got there or else he would get upset.
Like I said before, Joe wasn’t really feeling our relationship and I think a big part of that was jealousy from when I kind of curved him on the phone. He started to overlook Raul in ways that he hadn’t before and it began to mess with his finances. He wasn’t getting work the way he used to before he started dating me and although I was still working we were barely getting by. Joe gave him an ultimatum; either the crew or me and when Raul chose me his money began to fade and our relationship got shaky.
We began to argue over petty things. The arguments would sometimes turn physical and he would run up behind me and tightly squeeze the back of my neck or pull my hair. It would scare the shit out of me because I never knew when it was going to happen or what I did to trigger it. I didn’t know that letting him get away with things like that would start my World War
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