Viral by Emily Mitchell

hat to which visitors can ascend by means of an interior staircase. These workers say that the pages of the book contain lists of slurs aimed at every race and ethnicity that has ever come to this most polyglot of cities, ranging from the thoroughly archaic to the most contemporary. The city fathers were not aware of this when the Statue went up (it was a gift from abroad), and by then it was too late. Periodically, a citizens’ group will protest publicly that the book’s contents go against the spirit of the city and should be erased, but someone else always counters that it would be wrong to destroy a famous work of art by altering it so drastically. The argument goes on until everyone gets tired or distracted by some more urgent problem. Because all groups are insulted with equal virulence in the pages of the book, no particular faction has been motivated to mount a sustained campaign to have the offending matter removed.
    Make sure you see the Statue, along with the nearby Museum of Imaginary Art, world-famous for its absence of exhibits, and the zoo.
    New Yorkers are brash in public, but they are gentler in their private lives. You’ll find the homes of New York are frequently decorated with mirrors in unlikely places. Some people attribute this to unusually high local levels of vanity, but really it is because people in New York tend to live in small houses and apartments, and mirrors make their rooms look bigger.
    Recently there have been numerous cases of haunted mirrors in New York, and this has caused problems for the police as well as for residents. A typical haunted mirror appears normal until it is hung on a wall and then the surface shifts, warps, and becomes a reflection not of the room or person physically opposite it but of the place the viewer really wishes to be. This can be a disturbing thing to learn about yourself or about your spouse, and a number of apparently happy marriages have been damaged or destroyed by haunted mirrors. The attorney who led the class-action suit against the manufacturers said in her briefing to the press: “You think that your husband is content at home, and you discover he’d rather be trapped in a factory that manufactures beads with a woman he once sat next to on an airplane. My clients and I consider that this forced disclosure of subconscious desires causes undue pain and suffering to the victims and, in many cases, significant loss of income.”
    The police have been instrumental in disturbing the chain of supply for the haunted mirrors, though some residents feel they could be doing more.
    The official state vermin of New York rotates biannually between the greater glowering cockroach and the egg rat, which can be distinguished by its blue webbed feet.
    CAR RENTAL
    Once you leave New York, we suggest you rent a car, even if you do not usually like to drive. You will find that driving in America is quite different than it is in other places in the world. In most countries, the roads are narrow, badly paved or steep. Driving requires skill, practice and concentration.
    But in America, the landscape has been redesigned so people can slide through it seamlessly inside their cars. When you get behind the steering wheel, you feel as though you have finally arrived at your intended destination. In America, it is not driving that is difficult. It is finding a way to stop.
    PENNSYLVANIA
    Pennsylvania is the softest state in the Union. It is a good place to continue with your journey.
    Early in its history, when it was still a colony, Pennsylvania passed an ordinance outlawing sharp corners for the good of the citizens. As a result, the craftsmen of Pennsylvania pioneered a style of furniture making that came to be known as “Rustic Curvature” for its solid forms and smooth, undulating lines. In recent years, reproductions of these designs have been enjoying a renewed popularity.
    The no-corner rule meant that Pennsylvania never became a center of