When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood by Sophia Fraioli, Lauren Kaelin
Authors: Sophia Fraioli, Lauren Kaelin
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: Well just finished another episode of the Duggars. It’s an old one though I’ve seen it before. It’s the one where the mom WAS IN LITTLE ROCK TO STAY WITH THE NEW BABY AND THE FAMILY CAME TO VISIT. Sorry for all caps didn’t want to delete. That woman is so crazy to have that many kids. NCIS is on next. It’s a new one we haven’t seen yet! It’s only 10:00 so I’m sure you’re not up yet. I cleaned out my purse and decided to change to the giraffe wallet. Think I may go to walmart later don’t know what to make for your daddy for supper yet. Made pork chops last night but they were a little dry. Just filling you in no need to reply. Have a good day baby miss you luv u MOM
Feeling Better Now
----
ME : text me something to make me feel better! i need it!
----
MOM : thingamagingie that wibbles
----
MOM : there once was a man named John who had a big kabon
----
MOM : u need to talk?
----
MOM : want me to hold your beefstick and nuts?
----
MOM : success doesnt come to you you go to it.
Door Knockers
----
MOM : Hi Honey. If u find anything in Colonial Williamsburg that would be nice for the house such as a nice front door knocker call or text me
----
MOM : I am not interested in the pineapple door knockers
Doosie
----
MOM : Thats good, I knew I was going to have a doosie Monday when I cut my finger on the conditioner bottle in the shower and then there was a sand spur in my underwear.
Owl Homicide
----
MOM : How could anyone kick a owl? I find that very disturbing.
----
ME : …what? Aren’t you driving?
----
MOM : No at work. Soccer player kicked a owl that was on the field. Owl went into shock and died :(
----
ME : #> owl with squished face
Third Time
----
DAD : tonight was the third time of my life that I did not immediately recognize you. Dad.
Kitchen Knives
----
DAD : I was showing your sister how sharp our new kitchen knives were and sliced my thumb open.
----
ME : Are you ok?
----
DAD : yeah I sewed in back together with some old sutures I had. I didn’t have any numbing medication and had to push the needle through with a nail filer.
----
ME : oh.
Fly
----
ME : My roommate said she saw you today and that you looked super fly
----
DAD : Yep. I hope thats ok. to be fly
Bread Maker
----
MOM : Your dentist died. No appt next week. I’ll find u new one. I learned how to make bread!!
Eagles
----
DAD : An otherwise dreary day, SAVED. Three male bald eagles are putting on a fantastic aerial show right outside my window overlooking the harbor. Floating, soaring, diving and hovering at heights low enough that one can almost count their feathers. Majestic and beautiful.
Phone Charms
----
MOM : My phone can hold charms!
----
ME : Nice. I take it you’re looking for one, right now?
----
MOM : No, I’m just staring at it.
It Did?
----
MOM : I have a huge lasagna if you guys want to pick up bread
----
MOM : That sounded dirty
----
MOM : Sorry
Human?
----
MOM : Our church is going to be on the news tonight
----
ME : that’s cool! what for?
----
MOM : A bone washed up in the ditch - They think it’s human.
Peeing
----
MOM : Just got done peeing, pulling up my pants. I was going to see if u could bring me my bank card. Matt has it @ home. I’m hungry. That’s ok I can run home.
Crappy Cruise
----
ME : How was your cruise?
----
MOM : Crappy cruise…old people really old. I was at teh 21 table and one woman died at the roulette. Guess her number was up.
½ to 40
----
DAD : Do you realize you are 37.5% done with college ?
----
DAD : …And I believe 20 years old is 1/2 to 40…And 1/3 of 60…
----
DAD : :D ?
Smokeless
----
ME : So if I told you I was going to the strip club when I came home, you would say?
----
DAD : Those are now smokeless. As are the dart places.
This is dad.
----
ME : Guess what I’m wearing
----
DAD : This is dad.
----
ME : …yes. I’m wearing your sweater
Feeling Better Now
----
ME : text me something to make me feel better! i need it!
----
MOM : thingamagingie that wibbles
----
MOM : there once was a man named John who had a big kabon
----
MOM : u need to talk?
----
MOM : want me to hold your beefstick and nuts?
----
MOM : success doesnt come to you you go to it.
Door Knockers
----
MOM : Hi Honey. If u find anything in Colonial Williamsburg that would be nice for the house such as a nice front door knocker call or text me
----
MOM : I am not interested in the pineapple door knockers
Doosie
----
MOM : Thats good, I knew I was going to have a doosie Monday when I cut my finger on the conditioner bottle in the shower and then there was a sand spur in my underwear.
Owl Homicide
----
MOM : How could anyone kick a owl? I find that very disturbing.
----
ME : …what? Aren’t you driving?
----
MOM : No at work. Soccer player kicked a owl that was on the field. Owl went into shock and died :(
----
ME : #> owl with squished face
Third Time
----
DAD : tonight was the third time of my life that I did not immediately recognize you. Dad.
Kitchen Knives
----
DAD : I was showing your sister how sharp our new kitchen knives were and sliced my thumb open.
----
ME : Are you ok?
----
DAD : yeah I sewed in back together with some old sutures I had. I didn’t have any numbing medication and had to push the needle through with a nail filer.
----
ME : oh.
Fly
----
ME : My roommate said she saw you today and that you looked super fly
----
DAD : Yep. I hope thats ok. to be fly
Bread Maker
----
MOM : Your dentist died. No appt next week. I’ll find u new one. I learned how to make bread!!
Eagles
----
DAD : An otherwise dreary day, SAVED. Three male bald eagles are putting on a fantastic aerial show right outside my window overlooking the harbor. Floating, soaring, diving and hovering at heights low enough that one can almost count their feathers. Majestic and beautiful.
Phone Charms
----
MOM : My phone can hold charms!
----
ME : Nice. I take it you’re looking for one, right now?
----
MOM : No, I’m just staring at it.
It Did?
----
MOM : I have a huge lasagna if you guys want to pick up bread
----
MOM : That sounded dirty
----
MOM : Sorry
Human?
----
MOM : Our church is going to be on the news tonight
----
ME : that’s cool! what for?
----
MOM : A bone washed up in the ditch - They think it’s human.
Peeing
----
MOM : Just got done peeing, pulling up my pants. I was going to see if u could bring me my bank card. Matt has it @ home. I’m hungry. That’s ok I can run home.
Crappy Cruise
----
ME : How was your cruise?
----
MOM : Crappy cruise…old people really old. I was at teh 21 table and one woman died at the roulette. Guess her number was up.
½ to 40
----
DAD : Do you realize you are 37.5% done with college ?
----
DAD : …And I believe 20 years old is 1/2 to 40…And 1/3 of 60…
----
DAD : :D ?
Smokeless
----
ME : So if I told you I was going to the strip club when I came home, you would say?
----
DAD : Those are now smokeless. As are the dart places.
This is dad.
----
ME : Guess what I’m wearing
----
DAD : This is dad.
----
ME : …yes. I’m wearing your sweater
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