Why Me?

Why Me? by Neil Forsyth

Book: Why Me? by Neil Forsyth Read Free Book Online
Authors: Neil Forsyth
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played most sports at one time or another – everything from Adventure racing to Wiffle ball! Someday I’ll move home and be able to surf, paddle and dive like I love to do.
    Write back soon dear,
    Sergeant Gary Kaltwesser
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Sergeant Gary Kaltwesser
    Subject: Hello there
    Sergeant Gary,
    What a life you’ve had, pitching up in the world’s hot spots looking all smart in your uniform. I get nervous driving through Dundee’s troubled West Ferry estate 18 so I can only imagine what it’s like there in Afghanistan. Even popping out to the shops or heading uptown to look for skirt must be a real ball-ache.
    Oh Gary, I hope more than anything that one day you’ll be paddling like you used to. And, if you’ll have me, I’ll be paddling right there beside you.
    Fully naked.
    Bob
    ----------------
    From: Sergeant Gary Kaltwesser
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: This is what I want also
    Bob,
    Thank you and yes we will be together in this way. I want you to know am a man of one woman, I treat my woman with respect and care. Am a caring man, who show my woman what true love means, i work according to word of God. I’m a romantic man, I love going to the beach, listen to musics, love taking a walk, love going to the cinemas. I would describe myself as very caring a gentle and positive person.
    I had like to meet a woman who is caring and considerate, someone I can trust and who will trust me and will always be honest with me, someone who enjoys laughing at the silly things that happen in life. Someone who is willing to share the work to make our home a comfortable place. Someone who likes to live in a tidy house too, I do not like to have things very messy.
    What do you seek in your ideal man?
    Your Soldier Man
    Sgt. Gary Kaltwesser
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Sergeant Gary Kaltwesser
    Subject: My Ideal Man
    Gary,
    Great question. My ideal man would have a decent line in jokes, just under my ability would probably work best, and should always let me finish what I’m saying before having a wee crack at something himself. Also, I don’t like when men sometimes use their wives and families as an easy excuse to get out of things like sleepovers and I can’t bear the ones that clasp their hands behind their backs and sort of rock on their feet while they speak. It’s a cheap way of gaining control over a conversation and I will not have it. Not on my watch.
    Hope that helps,
    Bob
    ----------------
    From: Sergeant Gary Kaltwesser
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: Hello Darling
    Hi Hun,
    How are you doing today? This is the man I am! it is like a dream that we have found each other. The woman I will end up with will love to spend time with me but also have her own life. We will share popcorn at an early matinee, search for treasures at local garage sales and touch, feel and squeeze the vegetables at a road side produce stand. She will be a perfect lady in public and our time behind closed doors will be natural and giving. She will be my life. I will be her ‘rock’.
    I will send her roses for no particular reason, with notes like ‘Thank you for being in my life’. She will never doubt my feelings for her. She will become accustom to me mouthing the words ‘I love you’ across a crowded room. She will know how I feel about her. I will love, protect and guide her. I am looking for a lover, companion, friend and wife. Let the passion begin. i have butterflies running in my stomach now, i have never feel this way before.
    Gary
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Sergeant Gary Kaltwesser
    Subject: Release the butterfl ies Gary
    Gary,
    There seems to have been a bit of confusion. I am a 64-year-old man from Dundee’s celebrated Broughty Ferry estate here in Scotland. I hope that information allows you to lie back, open your mouth and let the butterflies fly away unharmed.
    Having said that I have no problem at all with

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