of pinking shears and an apprentice dervish you accidentally brought home in your hand-luggage from a recent business trip.
Lucky fish: The Grayling
Lucky poultice: Mustard
A QUARIUS
Venus transiting the Sun may manifest its influence in a number of unusual ways this week. On Wednesday while slicing Aubergines for your act, you discover a pattern of seeds
that looks exactly like Alvin Schockemohle. On Friday, an adverse reaction between your trousers and shirt will cause a quiet tweeting noise every time you try to use an adverb.
Lucky garnish: Chives
Lucky teeth: Incisors
P ISCES
Pluto and Neptune conjoin in your birthsign this week leading to disharmony and discord. This is most evident in a choral recital you give at the end of the week, which even
your best friends will describe as sounding like an angry man clubbing a muskox to death with a set of bagpipes.
Lucky rhythm: Syncopated
Lucky starch: The plantain
W EEKLY F ORECAST FOR
2 ND TO 8 TH M AY
A RIES
The link between Venus and Jupiter on Thursday indicates that you will need to start thinking about a new way of dealing with young people. The routine of pretending to steal
their nose rarely works with anyone over three years old. On Wednesday you will have a run in with the dry cleaners over frequent zip repairs.
Lucky adjective: Sprightly
Lucky muse: Terpsichore
T AURUS
A well-rounded look to the week as Venus and Mercury both aspect Pluto. You really need to consider how hard you’ve been working of late and think about giving yourself
some well-earned time off. On Friday, you accidentally book a working-class return to Reading which takes the whole weekend to recover from.
Lucky footwear: Suede brogues
Lucky glaze: Gelatine
G EMINI
Venus transits the Sun on Tuesday, which indicates an unusual opportunity to turn a long cherished dream into reality this summer. However, mischievous Pluto rising means that
you should confirm arrangements with the travel agent in writing rather than on the phone, unless swimming with moleskins is your idea of a good time.
Lucky fritter: Banana
Lucky cup: 34C
C ANCER
If you start the week with financial worries there is a good chance that these will have eased by Friday when you accidentally come up with an unbeatable idea while paving over
your window box. An unlikely sequence of events sees you combining a recording of your trademark giggle, a hover mower, and some red nylon fur, thereby inventing the ‘Tickle Me
Flymo’.
Lucky garnish: Knob of butter
Lucky mollusc: Snail
L EO
Your Venus is looking increasingly ill-at-ease of late which may help to explain the trouble you’ve had getting satisfactory results from your new trouser-press. However,
the New Moon in Capricorn will see the dreams about Ken Livingstone tailing off during the course of the next week or so, and a warm front moving in from the West.
Lucky pudding: Tapioca
Lucky table: Six-times
V IRGO
Saturn’s benign influence will bring joy and happiness to everyone who realises that they are not as old as you. Venus rising means that you may be approached in the
street by a strangely attractive woman who insists on a birthday kiss, passing on her address, and a mild but persistent gum disease.
Lucky vitamin: C Minor
Lucky hold: The folding trouser press
L IBRA
Monday’s aspect between Venus and Neptune will mean a misunderstanding in the ten items or less queue at the double-glazing showroom involving three French hens, a
knitting machine, and The Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer – again. A dramatic trine between Mercury and Mars on Tuesday indicates a Bacchanalian lunch with a medical man. So don’t
wear your best trousers – you know what you found in the turn-ups last time.
Lucky accent: Somerset
Lucky Starr: Edwin
S CORPIO
An unusual aspect between Mars and Neptune has kept things fairly quiet for a week or so, but all that will change on Wednesday when you are given a pair of working
chameleon-skin trousers that
Lucky fish: The Grayling
Lucky poultice: Mustard
A QUARIUS
Venus transiting the Sun may manifest its influence in a number of unusual ways this week. On Wednesday while slicing Aubergines for your act, you discover a pattern of seeds
that looks exactly like Alvin Schockemohle. On Friday, an adverse reaction between your trousers and shirt will cause a quiet tweeting noise every time you try to use an adverb.
Lucky garnish: Chives
Lucky teeth: Incisors
P ISCES
Pluto and Neptune conjoin in your birthsign this week leading to disharmony and discord. This is most evident in a choral recital you give at the end of the week, which even
your best friends will describe as sounding like an angry man clubbing a muskox to death with a set of bagpipes.
Lucky rhythm: Syncopated
Lucky starch: The plantain
W EEKLY F ORECAST FOR
2 ND TO 8 TH M AY
A RIES
The link between Venus and Jupiter on Thursday indicates that you will need to start thinking about a new way of dealing with young people. The routine of pretending to steal
their nose rarely works with anyone over three years old. On Wednesday you will have a run in with the dry cleaners over frequent zip repairs.
Lucky adjective: Sprightly
Lucky muse: Terpsichore
T AURUS
A well-rounded look to the week as Venus and Mercury both aspect Pluto. You really need to consider how hard you’ve been working of late and think about giving yourself
some well-earned time off. On Friday, you accidentally book a working-class return to Reading which takes the whole weekend to recover from.
Lucky footwear: Suede brogues
Lucky glaze: Gelatine
G EMINI
Venus transits the Sun on Tuesday, which indicates an unusual opportunity to turn a long cherished dream into reality this summer. However, mischievous Pluto rising means that
you should confirm arrangements with the travel agent in writing rather than on the phone, unless swimming with moleskins is your idea of a good time.
Lucky fritter: Banana
Lucky cup: 34C
C ANCER
If you start the week with financial worries there is a good chance that these will have eased by Friday when you accidentally come up with an unbeatable idea while paving over
your window box. An unlikely sequence of events sees you combining a recording of your trademark giggle, a hover mower, and some red nylon fur, thereby inventing the ‘Tickle Me
Flymo’.
Lucky garnish: Knob of butter
Lucky mollusc: Snail
L EO
Your Venus is looking increasingly ill-at-ease of late which may help to explain the trouble you’ve had getting satisfactory results from your new trouser-press. However,
the New Moon in Capricorn will see the dreams about Ken Livingstone tailing off during the course of the next week or so, and a warm front moving in from the West.
Lucky pudding: Tapioca
Lucky table: Six-times
V IRGO
Saturn’s benign influence will bring joy and happiness to everyone who realises that they are not as old as you. Venus rising means that you may be approached in the
street by a strangely attractive woman who insists on a birthday kiss, passing on her address, and a mild but persistent gum disease.
Lucky vitamin: C Minor
Lucky hold: The folding trouser press
L IBRA
Monday’s aspect between Venus and Neptune will mean a misunderstanding in the ten items or less queue at the double-glazing showroom involving three French hens, a
knitting machine, and The Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer – again. A dramatic trine between Mercury and Mars on Tuesday indicates a Bacchanalian lunch with a medical man. So don’t
wear your best trousers – you know what you found in the turn-ups last time.
Lucky accent: Somerset
Lucky Starr: Edwin
S CORPIO
An unusual aspect between Mars and Neptune has kept things fairly quiet for a week or so, but all that will change on Wednesday when you are given a pair of working
chameleon-skin trousers that
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