we needed to talk about what happened with Wanna and the blood. He said that I need to share with Wanna and I needed to let her help me. She wants to help me, and she wants to help my heart and body feel better. He said that I can’t keep everything inside anymore, and I have to find a way to be brave and share my pain and share my happiness and share with Wanna what I need. He was very upset and he kept touching his black hair.
Then he told me about Wanna when she was a little girl. There were parts of the story that I wanted to put my hands up over my ears and not listen to anymore.
Daddy said that Wanna’s parents, my grandparents, loved adventure. They loved to be free and travel and go anywhere at any time that they wanted. Sometimes that meant that Wanna could not go because she needed to go to school. So if Wanna’s parents wanted to travel, then they would leave Wanna with her uncle.
The problem was that the uncle was bad. He was not nice to Wanna, and if he wasn’t happy, then he would hit her. Wanna was very scared of her uncle, but she was afraid to tell her parents. When Wanna’s parents would return from their adventures, they were extra happy and were extra nice to Wanna. They would bring her gifts and tell her all about where they went and what they did. Wanna loved to listen to their stories. They needed to travel and explore, or they would be unhappy. So Wanna kept it to herself that her uncle hit her.
As Wanna grew older, it wasn’t a problem as much anymore. She was able to find friends to stay with when her parents went on their adventures.
One day after her parents returned from an adventure, they came to pick Wanna up at a friend’s house. They were so excited to see Wanna, and she was so happy to see them too. Wanna and her parents got in their car, and her father started driving them home. Wanna’s father was laughing and talking about their travels, and Wanna’s mother was digging through her bags and giving Wanna gifts from their trip. Everyone was so busy talking and laughing that Wanna’s father did not stay on the right side of the road. He let the car turn just a little into the wrong lane. There was another car and it was going fast and it hit them.
Wanna and her parents were taken to the hospital. It was too late for Wanna’s parents and they were gone. They died before the ambulance came. Wanna needed an operation to get the car parts out of her body. When she woke up, the doctors told her what happened. They told her that her parents were gone and that they needed to rearrange and take things out of her belly to save her life. Some things that the doctors took out would mean that Wanna could never carry a child inside her body. In one day Wanna lost her parents and lost the children that would never live inside of her.
It was on that day that Wanna decided that she would adopt her children. Daddy said that she never looked back. Her only memory is hidden in a scar that runs down her belly.
I’m tired. I need to sleep now. I will write about it more tomorrow.
88
Dear Penny,
Last night, after Daddy told me Wanna’s story, I went to find her. Daddy told me I needed to go and talk to her.
I found her in the kitchen next to the fireplace. The room was dark except for the fireplace. Wanna’s yellow hair looked orange next to the fire. She was very still and didn’t move when I came into the room. She just stood there looking at the fire.
I said— I’m sorry. I’m sorry about your uncle, and I am sorry about your parents.
Wanna turned her eyes to look at me. Her eyes were filled with water. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at me.
I whispered— Can I see your belly?
Wanna turned her body to me, lifted her shirt, and showed me her skin underneath. I walked closer to Wanna to get a better look. There was a raised line, which started under her bra and went all the way down her belly. At the bottom of the line was another line that went straight across her
Then he told me about Wanna when she was a little girl. There were parts of the story that I wanted to put my hands up over my ears and not listen to anymore.
Daddy said that Wanna’s parents, my grandparents, loved adventure. They loved to be free and travel and go anywhere at any time that they wanted. Sometimes that meant that Wanna could not go because she needed to go to school. So if Wanna’s parents wanted to travel, then they would leave Wanna with her uncle.
The problem was that the uncle was bad. He was not nice to Wanna, and if he wasn’t happy, then he would hit her. Wanna was very scared of her uncle, but she was afraid to tell her parents. When Wanna’s parents would return from their adventures, they were extra happy and were extra nice to Wanna. They would bring her gifts and tell her all about where they went and what they did. Wanna loved to listen to their stories. They needed to travel and explore, or they would be unhappy. So Wanna kept it to herself that her uncle hit her.
As Wanna grew older, it wasn’t a problem as much anymore. She was able to find friends to stay with when her parents went on their adventures.
One day after her parents returned from an adventure, they came to pick Wanna up at a friend’s house. They were so excited to see Wanna, and she was so happy to see them too. Wanna and her parents got in their car, and her father started driving them home. Wanna’s father was laughing and talking about their travels, and Wanna’s mother was digging through her bags and giving Wanna gifts from their trip. Everyone was so busy talking and laughing that Wanna’s father did not stay on the right side of the road. He let the car turn just a little into the wrong lane. There was another car and it was going fast and it hit them.
Wanna and her parents were taken to the hospital. It was too late for Wanna’s parents and they were gone. They died before the ambulance came. Wanna needed an operation to get the car parts out of her body. When she woke up, the doctors told her what happened. They told her that her parents were gone and that they needed to rearrange and take things out of her belly to save her life. Some things that the doctors took out would mean that Wanna could never carry a child inside her body. In one day Wanna lost her parents and lost the children that would never live inside of her.
It was on that day that Wanna decided that she would adopt her children. Daddy said that she never looked back. Her only memory is hidden in a scar that runs down her belly.
I’m tired. I need to sleep now. I will write about it more tomorrow.
88
Dear Penny,
Last night, after Daddy told me Wanna’s story, I went to find her. Daddy told me I needed to go and talk to her.
I found her in the kitchen next to the fireplace. The room was dark except for the fireplace. Wanna’s yellow hair looked orange next to the fire. She was very still and didn’t move when I came into the room. She just stood there looking at the fire.
I said— I’m sorry. I’m sorry about your uncle, and I am sorry about your parents.
Wanna turned her eyes to look at me. Her eyes were filled with water. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at me.
I whispered— Can I see your belly?
Wanna turned her body to me, lifted her shirt, and showed me her skin underneath. I walked closer to Wanna to get a better look. There was a raised line, which started under her bra and went all the way down her belly. At the bottom of the line was another line that went straight across her
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