Bumped by Megan McCafferty Page A

lunchtime here in Stockholm. This scouting trip has been UH. MAZE. ING. I was just saying to myself, Lib. Have you ever seen so many blond, blue-eyed hunkaspunks in your WHOLE LIFE? And myself replied, No, Lib. I have not. ”
    Lib. I rack my brains trying to remember who Lib is. I know Melody has mentioned him, but I can’t remember. . . .
    “There’s one fine speci man I was all ready to introduce to the Jaydens. . . .”
    Now I remember! Lib is Melody’s Reproductive Representative! He’s the one who recruited her to be a Surrogette! Melody said he was a colorful character, but I hadn’t expected him to wear a suit that glows like an electric rainbow. Maybe I can tell him that Melody has had a change of heart. She doesn’t want to be a Surrogette after all. Would he believe me? Of course then I would have to do some prayerful witnessing to make Melody believe it herself.
    “GUESS WHAT?”
    I press the 2Vu option.
    “Hey gorgeous! You ARE there!” Lib crows when I come into his Vu. “Like the lumina suit?” he asks, stretching out to get a full view of the electric rainbow running up and down his arms. When I respond with a wince, he sighs, then presses a button on his wrist to make the lights go out. “It’s a bit too much first thing in the morning, isn’t it?”
    Now that I get a better look, I see that Lib is bald, save for a silvery inch-wide strip of hair running front to back across his scalp. His skin is as brown as an acorn, and his face is stretched taut and unlined, as is often seen in older men of means in Otherside. Even the skin in his eye sockets is pulled tight, making them bulge in surprise at all times. Those lavender eyes are scrolling up down and all around as he takes in my appearance as carefully as I am taking in his. Usually this would make me feel uncomfortable, but something about Lib tells me that he’s not looking at me with impure interest.
    “You got some SUN! It gives you that FRESH, OUTDOORSY look!”
    It becomes clear that Lib uses his expressive voice to overcompensate for his frozen face. He drops it to a conspiratorial whisper, beckons for me to come closer to the screen.
    “Just don’t get too much. A little rosy glow is okay, you just don’t want to get . . . ah, too dark. That’s not what the Jaydens hired you for. They don’t give a hoot about the multiculti trends! They are SO into Euro! That milky complexion is one of your greatest assets.”
    Oh! He thinks I’m Melody! She must not have told Lib that I’m staying with her for a while. I’m about to reveal myself as the twin sister, but he doesn’t stop talking long enough to give me the chance.
    “And while we’re talking superficials, that . . . that . . .
THING you’re wearing is so TERMINAL and so FERTILICIOUS at the same time.”
    I look down at my long white cotton nightdress.
    “You are so smart to cover up as much skin as possible,” Lib continues with admiration in his voice. “I’ve been selling everyone since you signed with me: MELODY MAYFLOWER IS THE FULL PACKAGE. Beauty and brains. I wish all my clients were as bright as you.”
    I try to correct his mistake. “Actually, I’m not—”
    “Oh, but you ARE. You must spend most your day fending off amateur offers from all the . . .” He screws up his mouth, just about the only part of his face he can move. “ Opportunistic humpers at your high school.”
    “But—”
    “Do you have ANY IDEA how many of my clients break their conception contracts? They have NO appreciation for all the hard work I put in to making the perfect three-way match.” He snorts. “TOO HORMONAL to think about how their choices affect their OWN futures.”
    “Mr. Lib, sir, I—”
    “They all proooooomise to keep it pure. They’re all like”—his voice gets higher—“ Lib! I won’t bump with him! He’s my everythingbut! Then they do a little too much TOCIN DOSIN’ and the next thing I know these girls have forgotten the but in everythingbut and