accents.
“And is he really mixed up in all this mess?”
“It’s happening around him, Mama, but he’s got nothing to do with any of it. I swear.” An idea came to her, and she kicked herself for not saying something before. “Mama, reporters aren’t calling you, are they? Is that why you got the caller ID?”
The pause was so long that her mother must have given up on trying to lie. “It’s no bother, Zoey; I don’t want you to worry about it.”
Something deep inside of her had been ever so slightly buoyed by her mother’s gentle concern about a man she might have been dating. This dropped a rock into her inner heart and left her twisted up with fear and concern. “Mama, you need—”
“No,” her mother said, in the same voice she’d used when Zoey was young and had gotten too close to the hot stove. Something deep inside yanked her hand back from the buttons she’d been about to press. “Absolutely not, Zoey, you are not going to worry about me. I don’t know what in the world you’ve gotten yourself mixed up in up there, but I know my girl, and I know that there’s nothing you can get yourself into that you can’t get yourself out of. So you’re going to be careful, and you’re going to be just fine, and when you get yourself sorted, you’re going to bring that foolish northern boy down here to meet your mother and father. Make him act right.”
“Yes, Mama,” she said. She had to take a deep breath to choke back the tears that wanted to fall. But that wasn’t how they did things. No. If she collapsed, if she gave in to the fear that was swirling through her, her parents would know that it was all more than she could handle, and they’d be on their way here on the very next plane, putting themselves in all sorts of danger that would just make surviving harder. She could barely manage to look out for herself and Alex; if her parents were in danger, too, then she had no idea what she’d do.
They’re already in danger, that dark little voice whispered to her. Look what happened to the Brie twins .
You don’t know, she told herself stubbornly. But she did know. She did, and there was no getting around it.
“His mother was from Georgia,” she found herself saying, her voice bubbling over with fake cheer.
“Oh?” Mama replied, sweet as anything. What a fucking pair they made.
They talked for a few more minutes, but later Zoey couldn’t recall a single word of the conversation. “Take care of yourself now,” Mama said, eventually.
“You too,” Zoey said. She struggled against the lump in her throat. “I love you, Mama.”
Her mother hung up without saying it back. She could understand it. It was like a jinx. If you admitted that you were worried, it made the worry that much more potent, and that much more likely to come true. But she couldn’t stop the what-ifs.
She laid her head down on her knees, and let the tears come.
***
Alex stared at the computer in front of him. After dealing with his father’s journal for all this time, he’d never thought—it had never occurred to him—that the old man would be this blatant about what he was doing.
He took a deep breath, scrubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands, and tried to focus. His vision blurred for a moment, but the words on the screen didn’t change. There, in black and white, he saw his father committing to dealing with both Zhu and Tanaka, acknowledging that he would sell to them, even though they were both sending troops into the Philippines, troops that would be in direct conflict with American forces that AEGIS was also supplying. He saw jokes about ‘whatever made the most money’ was fine with him.
His hands shook. He’d never once considered Philip Blankenship to be a good man. He had never thought to himself that his father was a man worth defending. But this—this was beyond anything Alex could understand. This was
“And is he really mixed up in all this mess?”
“It’s happening around him, Mama, but he’s got nothing to do with any of it. I swear.” An idea came to her, and she kicked herself for not saying something before. “Mama, reporters aren’t calling you, are they? Is that why you got the caller ID?”
The pause was so long that her mother must have given up on trying to lie. “It’s no bother, Zoey; I don’t want you to worry about it.”
Something deep inside of her had been ever so slightly buoyed by her mother’s gentle concern about a man she might have been dating. This dropped a rock into her inner heart and left her twisted up with fear and concern. “Mama, you need—”
“No,” her mother said, in the same voice she’d used when Zoey was young and had gotten too close to the hot stove. Something deep inside yanked her hand back from the buttons she’d been about to press. “Absolutely not, Zoey, you are not going to worry about me. I don’t know what in the world you’ve gotten yourself mixed up in up there, but I know my girl, and I know that there’s nothing you can get yourself into that you can’t get yourself out of. So you’re going to be careful, and you’re going to be just fine, and when you get yourself sorted, you’re going to bring that foolish northern boy down here to meet your mother and father. Make him act right.”
“Yes, Mama,” she said. She had to take a deep breath to choke back the tears that wanted to fall. But that wasn’t how they did things. No. If she collapsed, if she gave in to the fear that was swirling through her, her parents would know that it was all more than she could handle, and they’d be on their way here on the very next plane, putting themselves in all sorts of danger that would just make surviving harder. She could barely manage to look out for herself and Alex; if her parents were in danger, too, then she had no idea what she’d do.
They’re already in danger, that dark little voice whispered to her. Look what happened to the Brie twins .
You don’t know, she told herself stubbornly. But she did know. She did, and there was no getting around it.
“His mother was from Georgia,” she found herself saying, her voice bubbling over with fake cheer.
“Oh?” Mama replied, sweet as anything. What a fucking pair they made.
They talked for a few more minutes, but later Zoey couldn’t recall a single word of the conversation. “Take care of yourself now,” Mama said, eventually.
“You too,” Zoey said. She struggled against the lump in her throat. “I love you, Mama.”
Her mother hung up without saying it back. She could understand it. It was like a jinx. If you admitted that you were worried, it made the worry that much more potent, and that much more likely to come true. But she couldn’t stop the what-ifs.
She laid her head down on her knees, and let the tears come.
***
Alex stared at the computer in front of him. After dealing with his father’s journal for all this time, he’d never thought—it had never occurred to him—that the old man would be this blatant about what he was doing.
He took a deep breath, scrubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands, and tried to focus. His vision blurred for a moment, but the words on the screen didn’t change. There, in black and white, he saw his father committing to dealing with both Zhu and Tanaka, acknowledging that he would sell to them, even though they were both sending troops into the Philippines, troops that would be in direct conflict with American forces that AEGIS was also supplying. He saw jokes about ‘whatever made the most money’ was fine with him.
His hands shook. He’d never once considered Philip Blankenship to be a good man. He had never thought to himself that his father was a man worth defending. But this—this was beyond anything Alex could understand. This was
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