Illicit by Jordan Silver

feelings.
    I’m not even going to question how he knew about the phone call, why bother? Nothing else has made any sense since I looked into my dream’s eyes.
    I flitted around the empty house killing time until my dad came home, which should be any minute now.
    Every five minutes or so I’d gravitate towards a window, in the hopes that beyond the drapes would be a silent Thorn Azarov keeping watch over my house.
    “Fanciful much Jazz?”
    By the time dad arrived I’d given up hope of seeing my mystery man any more for the night.
    I contemplated asking dad about him but thought better of it; that might raise more questions than I was ready to answer or rather had the answers to.
    “So Jazz how was your first day in the belly of the beast?”
    “Dad I wish you wouldn’t call it that, you know you’ll give me a complex if you’re not careful. You’re supposed to be encouraging dad, I read that somewhere.”
    “Uh huh, say what you will, but I’ve been there done that and I’d rather face down a grizzly than walk the hallways of another high school, that place was vicious.”
    “Come on dad it couldn’t have been that bad, I mean you had what, twenty students in the whole school?” I smirked at him when he threw part of his dinner roll at me.
    “Smart ass; well, did you meet anyone interesting huh, tell dad all about it.” He twitched his brows up and down which made me howl with laughter because it just looked so wrong.
    “Nothing to tell dad it was your usual first day for the newbie.” I hoped the heated blush that spread across my face wasn’t a dead giveaway that I was hiding something.
    “What no new girlfriends?”
    He looked hurt that his little girl didn’t make a whole fleet of friends on her first day at her new school.
    “Not to worry dad the other kids didn’t shun me and poke fun, in fact I did meet a few kids. I was even invited to a picnic this weekend.” I stuffed a piece of broccoli in my mouth as I thought of that phone call again.
    “Hey that’s great Jazz. Who all did you meet? I know all the kids in these parts.”
    “Well I met Michelle Sever and Mark Spade and Ian Track.”
    “All nice kids from good families; so where’re you kids going to have this picnic?”
    “Uh, I’m not going.” I stuffed more food in my mouth and pulled my hair forward to hide my eyes.
    “What why not? Aw come on Jazz don’t be shy.”
    “It’s not that dad, it’s...um, I might be doing something else.”
    “Oh yeah like what?”
    I really didn’t want to lie to my dad and besides, I didn’t really know if Azarov wanted to do something.
    “I’m not sure yet dad, when I know I’ll let you know okay, and stop worrying, I’ll make friends when I’m ready.”
    He studied me over his dinner of broiled fish and baby potatoes with broccoli.
    For the past few days since I’ve been here I’d been trying to get him to eat healthier.
    His diet up until now ran to burgers and pie. Now he’s looking at me like one of his suspects in the interrogation room.
    I know he’s worried about me, about my ability to adjust, but the truth is until today, until my strange encounter, I’d been worried too.
    Now I felt...hopeful, like I had something new and exciting to look forward to.
    “Don’t worry dad I’m fine, I promise.” I got up to take my empty plate to the sink kissing his head on the way.
    “By the way I like my new school.”
    I was happy to see the smile of relief that fell across his face, as he turned around to look at me, one less thing for him to worry about.
    I turned on the water in the ancient sink and soaped up the pots and pans I’d used to make dinner.
    Pete’s kitchen might be a throw back to the seventies, but at least it had a sense of home, of permanence and roots.
    Something all of the places Anna had ever dragged me off to had been lacking.
    I felt a pang of sorrow for the mother I’d left behind, the mother I couldn’t save from her self; and with that fleeting