him. I called his name, and he turned with one foot out the door.
“I can’t listen to any more talk about how horrific our fall was,” he said.
“You know how people are. It’ll stop once you’ve been back a few days.”
He stepped farther outside. “I need to get out of here before anyone else catches me.”
Frosty air blew into the lobby, and I hugged my arms to my chest. “Are you coming to the restaurant tonight?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll text you.”
He rushed out, and I waved feebly at the closed door. My throat ached from the swell of tears that needed to be released. One of the things I loved about Josh was the way he looked at me — how he made me feel so wanted and adored without speaking a word. But I saw none of that when he looked at me now. There was a dark cloud covering his eyes.
Blinking back the tears, I spun toward the locker room and smacked into Em. We both yelped and spit out apologies, and then she took a closer look at me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I dabbed the corners of my eyes and shook my head. “I don’t know how to help Josh.”
She linked her arm through mine. “I think we should get some chocolate and talk.”
She bought us each a cup of Dippin’ Dots from the machine in the lobby, and we sat at a table in the empty snack bar. I spooned a big helping of the frozen treat into my mouth, and it numbed my tongue.
“Sergei said the doctor wants Josh to see a neuropsychologist,” Em said.
“He doesn’t want to go. You’d think he’d want answers and some help getting better. I thought getting the news that he can skate and drive again would cheer him up, but he’s still not happy.”
“Being back at the rink didn’t help?”
“I think it made it worse. He was so jumpy when people tried to talk to him about the accident.”
Em’s eyebrows bent with worry. “He might be nervous about getting back on the ice.”
“He hasn’t said he is, but he’s not saying much to me these days.” I swirled my spoon around my cup. “He barely looks at me.”
“You know he loves you more than anything.”
“I know. It’s just hard being around him and not feeling that from him at all. I’m trying not to let it hurt, but…” My voice caught as tears snuck up on me again.
Em leaned toward me. “I’ll get Sergei to talk to him about seeing the new doctor. We’ll all do whatever we can to get him through this.”
There had to be something the doctor could do to help Josh — some medicine, some therapy, something. He couldn’t go on like this. The longer he was stuck in this dark place, the more I feared he wouldn’t be able to get out.
****
I coughed and waved my hand in front of my face. The hair spray fumes in the locker room were at their pre-show high. There wasn’t an inch of free space in the room with all of us jammed inside, doing our last-minute primping. I squeezed between bodies for a peek at the mirror, and I pulled a loose stone from the side of my sparkly silver dress.
“Court!” Em pushed through the crowd to get to me. “Where’s Josh?”
“He’s not here?”
“I don’t see him out there. I was going to ask him to take a bow at the end of the show for all the work he did.”
I hesitated a moment as a remote possibility crossed my mind, but I shook it off. “Maybe he’s just running late.”
Even with all Josh’s moodiness, he wouldn’t bail on the show. Besides being there to support me, he knew Em and all the kids he’d worked with wanted him there.
“Em, my dad needs you,” Liza called from the door.
I followed Em out to the rink so I could look for Josh. Clomping in my skate guards, I walked the length of the packed bleachers and stopped when I saw Mrs. Cassar.
“Was Josh still home when you left?” I asked.
“His car was there. I assumed he was leaving soon.”
I sent a worried glance at the rink entrance. What if something bad had happened? Josh had only been back behind the wheel for one day,
“I can’t listen to any more talk about how horrific our fall was,” he said.
“You know how people are. It’ll stop once you’ve been back a few days.”
He stepped farther outside. “I need to get out of here before anyone else catches me.”
Frosty air blew into the lobby, and I hugged my arms to my chest. “Are you coming to the restaurant tonight?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll text you.”
He rushed out, and I waved feebly at the closed door. My throat ached from the swell of tears that needed to be released. One of the things I loved about Josh was the way he looked at me — how he made me feel so wanted and adored without speaking a word. But I saw none of that when he looked at me now. There was a dark cloud covering his eyes.
Blinking back the tears, I spun toward the locker room and smacked into Em. We both yelped and spit out apologies, and then she took a closer look at me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I dabbed the corners of my eyes and shook my head. “I don’t know how to help Josh.”
She linked her arm through mine. “I think we should get some chocolate and talk.”
She bought us each a cup of Dippin’ Dots from the machine in the lobby, and we sat at a table in the empty snack bar. I spooned a big helping of the frozen treat into my mouth, and it numbed my tongue.
“Sergei said the doctor wants Josh to see a neuropsychologist,” Em said.
“He doesn’t want to go. You’d think he’d want answers and some help getting better. I thought getting the news that he can skate and drive again would cheer him up, but he’s still not happy.”
“Being back at the rink didn’t help?”
“I think it made it worse. He was so jumpy when people tried to talk to him about the accident.”
Em’s eyebrows bent with worry. “He might be nervous about getting back on the ice.”
“He hasn’t said he is, but he’s not saying much to me these days.” I swirled my spoon around my cup. “He barely looks at me.”
“You know he loves you more than anything.”
“I know. It’s just hard being around him and not feeling that from him at all. I’m trying not to let it hurt, but…” My voice caught as tears snuck up on me again.
Em leaned toward me. “I’ll get Sergei to talk to him about seeing the new doctor. We’ll all do whatever we can to get him through this.”
There had to be something the doctor could do to help Josh — some medicine, some therapy, something. He couldn’t go on like this. The longer he was stuck in this dark place, the more I feared he wouldn’t be able to get out.
****
I coughed and waved my hand in front of my face. The hair spray fumes in the locker room were at their pre-show high. There wasn’t an inch of free space in the room with all of us jammed inside, doing our last-minute primping. I squeezed between bodies for a peek at the mirror, and I pulled a loose stone from the side of my sparkly silver dress.
“Court!” Em pushed through the crowd to get to me. “Where’s Josh?”
“He’s not here?”
“I don’t see him out there. I was going to ask him to take a bow at the end of the show for all the work he did.”
I hesitated a moment as a remote possibility crossed my mind, but I shook it off. “Maybe he’s just running late.”
Even with all Josh’s moodiness, he wouldn’t bail on the show. Besides being there to support me, he knew Em and all the kids he’d worked with wanted him there.
“Em, my dad needs you,” Liza called from the door.
I followed Em out to the rink so I could look for Josh. Clomping in my skate guards, I walked the length of the packed bleachers and stopped when I saw Mrs. Cassar.
“Was Josh still home when you left?” I asked.
“His car was there. I assumed he was leaving soon.”
I sent a worried glance at the rink entrance. What if something bad had happened? Josh had only been back behind the wheel for one day,
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