many stairs as possible
Racing up staircases or jumping down them gives you that Iâm-in-a-rush rush. Handrails play helper as you leap on stage as the quick-zipping star of the show. Letâs chat about how to make the magic happen.
Okay, if youâre going up , two of the classiest moves include:
1. Roboto Man . Youâre a straight-faced, mild-mannered Stairskipper 4000, an advanced prototype who skips steps nonchalantly and even does the triple step every so often. Robotos sometimes act super casual because theyâre quietly racing someone in the escalator beside them.
2. Eager Beavers . These are sweaty six-year-olds who just scarfed all their candy, businesswomen racing to catch the commuter train, or teenagers in ballcaps and baseball gloves running to the park. Eager beavers sometimes leap up two, three, four stairs at a time. Although itâs in their best interest to avoid you, keep your eyes peeled for sharp elbows and sweat showers.
Okay, if youâre going down I recommend one of the following:
1. The Tarzan . Some lords of the jungle motor down the stairs and then plant their hands on the rail to swing themselves the rest of the way. Weâve all heard long tales of six, seven, even eight steps at once, but details are always fuzzy and hard to confirm. Still, if done well The Tarzan can be majestic. If done poorly, it can be ankle sprainy.
2. Cliff Jumpers . This oneâs for pros only. This is just a huge, free-falling jump, generally on the way down to the basement to play video games. Hopefully youâve got a padded cushion landing and donât crash through the wood veneer wall. There is no limit to the heights you can reach with this move.
Jumping as many stairs as possible gets your blood flowing from mini cardio workouts throughout the day. For a few brief moments you transform from a gal on her way to biology class into an animal in the wild againâscaling mountains, skipping rivers, leaping off cliffs like you were born to do. Your ancestors did the dirty work for hundreds of thousands of years, so make sure you pay honor to your primal roots and caveman instincts whenever you jump some stairs.
Jump up.
Jump down.
Jump forever.
AWESOME!
Screaming at characters in movies to do things
âNo!â
âDonât, donât, donât.â
âDonât, heâs behind the door.â
âTurn around!â
âTurn around, turn around, turn around!â
âNow kiss her, you idiot.â
AWESOME!
When your friends working in fast-food restaurants give you a little extra
Sure, sure, weâre all honest people here.
You and me, weâre driving the speed limit, crossing at crosswalks , and never double parking. But that doesnât mean we donât like bonus fries, extra-scoopy ice cream, or double cheese on our subs.
Hey, when that gal behind the smooth orange counter wearing the paper hat and pin-striped shirt is your pal from high school, itâs time for a little extra whipped cream and chocolate sauce on that drippy ice cream sundae.
Itâs just the Fast-Food Workersâ Pact.
AWESOME!
Wearing what you just bought out of the store
Sometimes those old, ratty sandals need to get buried. When sidewalk steps rattle your spine and walking to the store gives you severe blackfoot , itâs time to go shopping.
Next time you slide on that fresh new pair in the store, just pause for a second and look wistfully at the broken, smoothsoled flat ones in your hand. So many rainy nights, so many deck parties, so many quick trips for gas. Fight tears and steady your lip as you stare the teenage cashier square in the eye and say:
âDo you guys have a garbage can?â
AWESOME!
Finally peeing after holding it forever
It didnât used to be this way.
For hundreds of thousands of years our species peed freely, whenever , wherever. Yes, whether we were roaming jungles, crossing ice bridges , or having picnics in
Racing up staircases or jumping down them gives you that Iâm-in-a-rush rush. Handrails play helper as you leap on stage as the quick-zipping star of the show. Letâs chat about how to make the magic happen.
Okay, if youâre going up , two of the classiest moves include:
1. Roboto Man . Youâre a straight-faced, mild-mannered Stairskipper 4000, an advanced prototype who skips steps nonchalantly and even does the triple step every so often. Robotos sometimes act super casual because theyâre quietly racing someone in the escalator beside them.
2. Eager Beavers . These are sweaty six-year-olds who just scarfed all their candy, businesswomen racing to catch the commuter train, or teenagers in ballcaps and baseball gloves running to the park. Eager beavers sometimes leap up two, three, four stairs at a time. Although itâs in their best interest to avoid you, keep your eyes peeled for sharp elbows and sweat showers.
Okay, if youâre going down I recommend one of the following:
1. The Tarzan . Some lords of the jungle motor down the stairs and then plant their hands on the rail to swing themselves the rest of the way. Weâve all heard long tales of six, seven, even eight steps at once, but details are always fuzzy and hard to confirm. Still, if done well The Tarzan can be majestic. If done poorly, it can be ankle sprainy.
2. Cliff Jumpers . This oneâs for pros only. This is just a huge, free-falling jump, generally on the way down to the basement to play video games. Hopefully youâve got a padded cushion landing and donât crash through the wood veneer wall. There is no limit to the heights you can reach with this move.
Jumping as many stairs as possible gets your blood flowing from mini cardio workouts throughout the day. For a few brief moments you transform from a gal on her way to biology class into an animal in the wild againâscaling mountains, skipping rivers, leaping off cliffs like you were born to do. Your ancestors did the dirty work for hundreds of thousands of years, so make sure you pay honor to your primal roots and caveman instincts whenever you jump some stairs.
Jump up.
Jump down.
Jump forever.
AWESOME!
Screaming at characters in movies to do things
âNo!â
âDonât, donât, donât.â
âDonât, heâs behind the door.â
âTurn around!â
âTurn around, turn around, turn around!â
âNow kiss her, you idiot.â
AWESOME!
When your friends working in fast-food restaurants give you a little extra
Sure, sure, weâre all honest people here.
You and me, weâre driving the speed limit, crossing at crosswalks , and never double parking. But that doesnât mean we donât like bonus fries, extra-scoopy ice cream, or double cheese on our subs.
Hey, when that gal behind the smooth orange counter wearing the paper hat and pin-striped shirt is your pal from high school, itâs time for a little extra whipped cream and chocolate sauce on that drippy ice cream sundae.
Itâs just the Fast-Food Workersâ Pact.
AWESOME!
Wearing what you just bought out of the store
Sometimes those old, ratty sandals need to get buried. When sidewalk steps rattle your spine and walking to the store gives you severe blackfoot , itâs time to go shopping.
Next time you slide on that fresh new pair in the store, just pause for a second and look wistfully at the broken, smoothsoled flat ones in your hand. So many rainy nights, so many deck parties, so many quick trips for gas. Fight tears and steady your lip as you stare the teenage cashier square in the eye and say:
âDo you guys have a garbage can?â
AWESOME!
Finally peeing after holding it forever
It didnât used to be this way.
For hundreds of thousands of years our species peed freely, whenever , wherever. Yes, whether we were roaming jungles, crossing ice bridges , or having picnics in
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