Making Choices (Black Shamrocks MC Book 2) by Kylie Hillman

feelings for Maddi off because she tells me to.
    I’m not a fucking machine.
    “You’re making sense, Princess. I’ll think about it.”
    Rolling her eyes at my half-assed reply, she walks to the kettle and switches it on.
    Taking a seat, I watch in silence as she boils the water and makes her nightly chamomile tea and my decaf coffee. The ease that we have always had between us doesn’t seem to be affected by the admissions we made to each other tonight, and for that I’m grateful.
    Placing my hot mug in front of me, she sighs, and slides my phone toward me.
    “Think about why JJ is the way she is. She strikes me as a very intelligent, compassionate woman, so she must have a genuine problem to be hurting you like this. Sort out your feelings for me, and let her know that you have. Then help her fix her problems. You won’t regret it, Timber. Let yourself have the love that you help Mik and I find every time we stumble over our crap. You deserve it.”
    Gathering her mug into one hand, she plants a kiss on the top of my head and runs a hand down my bearded cheek. I nuzzle into her hand, placing a kiss on her palm.
    “You must tell her about Amy as well.”
    Pain ripples through my chest at her demand—stealing the air from my lungs.
    How can it still hurt so much after all this time?
    Without another word, Maddi walks out of the kitchen, leaving me alone with my spinning thoughts and emotional upheaval.
    I’d love a call from Beast right fucking now, needing me to beat the fuck out of some cunt. At least then I could burn off some of this frustration and get myself on an even keel. Back to a place where rational thought might be possible.
    Instead, I’m left sitting here thinking about mine and JJ’s fucked-up pasts, feeling helpless, and unable to fix a fucking thing. 

LUCAS
    Six Months Earlier
    E verything’s fucked.
    My two best friends are on the verge of imploding from the shit that went down two days ago with Maddi’s psycho ex.
    Mad Dog’s gonna go out of his mind if Maddi doesn’t get out of her fucking head and let him in. She needs to get over the whole drug-dealer shit. Right fucking now!
    It’s a non-issue in my opinion—an unfortunate fuck-up that’s had unforeseeable consequences.
    When I found out about it all those years ago, I’d told Mad Dog not to tell her because we both knew she wouldn’t have handled the truth on top of everything else.
    I still stand by that call.
    Just to top off my week, Beast’s being a Grade-A fuckwit. He’s determined to take his rage out on Mad Dog, instead of directing it where it should be—at fucking Brendan Taylor, who’s managed to outwit all of us so far, and Benji and his drug addiction.
    It’s been problem after fucking problem for days, none of which I can fix.
    One thing I can fix is the cold war between JJ and me.
    We’ve seen each other twice at the hospital since I took her back to my house and fucked her brains out, and both times she’s ignored me.
    Actually she went one better than that and ran the fuck away from me.
    Granted, I was brutal with her, but you don’t insult my Club and our brotherhood and expect me to mince my words. It didn’t help that I’d spent the time between telling her I’d pick her up after work and taking her back to my place building up the connection I thought we had in my head.
    With my past, I should’ve known better than to get my hopes up.
    Story of my life—I’m either epically fucked over, or second best.
    Leaning back in the uncomfortable chair, I rest my head against the wall—these hospital chairs are not big enough for my six-foot-nine frame so I tower over the backrest—I close my eyes. My tiredness has seeped into my bones, yet I can’t sleep.
    The image of JJ in my arms as I lifted her up and down over my cock fills my mind’s eye.
    Every fucking time I’ve closed my eyes since I fucked her, that image has played over and over: our eyes locked together as I shoved every inch of me into